Putts and Punches

Today, while greeting the media, Shawn Thornton said;

“20 years straight, I’ve been the worst player on every team I’ve played on and I am still doing it.”

Meanwhile, I was standing in the back of the mini media pack in attendance thinking… “For 25 years, I have been the worst media person in the media pack…  How did I even get here? Is what I do even media(?)” I am more interested in watching the media cover the event and simultaneously trying to not look like a fool while I try to find artsy photographs at a golf course, than I am in attending the celebrity meet and greet.

I worry briefly about NENS’s Sarah Davis.  Her arms must be getting so tired holding the NESN bedazzled mic so high (this is a short people joke).

Joe Haggerty is a bad ass.  As the best sports writer that ever was, he can show up and just hang with the boys in his everyday shorts and text friends while others ask David Pastrnak when he is going to start training for the World Cup starting in just over a month.  Meanwhile I’m thinking, “Wtf!? When!?” This is a professional athlete.  In 2016, when isn’t he training?  Pasternak then repeats the questions and with as little irony as possible replies that he started training two months ago.  My feeble brain slashes a Zoro Z in the questioner’s polo.

Today, we also learned that I will likely never be comfortable around golf people… additionally, I may never understand “Golf Culture.”  What I did notice on the links today was what looked like 30 people doing the work of 3 who come from the land of the 02536.

Do you know Lenny Clarke? It seems like he knows everyone!  Lenny also loves to get his picture taken with everyone.  My distracted mind imagined something like a sudden flash mob of photographs raining down from the sky of Lenny and everyone he ever posed with.  The accompanying photo above of him and Andrew McQuaid included.

Jason Varitek has terrible taste in shorts… they looked like a twister board for Barbie and Ken vomited onto regular shorts.

None of these observations or the photographs are what today’s event was really about. It was about support for the Thornton Foundation.

We “media” joined NHL forward Shawn Thornton and supporters as he stepped off the ice and fights to improve the lives of those affected by cancer and Parkinson’s disease.

I am still wondering if I should have put in a bid on that sweet Kevin Spacey hoodie.  Damn that thing was nice.

Today’s event from the Press release:

Shawn Thornton Hosts 7th Annual Putts & Punches for Parkinson’s Golf Tournament

WHO:             Shawn Thornton. Keegan Bradley, Jon Curran, Brendan Steele, David Pastrnak, Adam McQuaid, Jimmy Hayes, Kevin Hayes, Garrett Wilson, Jason Varitek, Bob Sweeney, Kevin Chapman, Greg Hill, Corey Schneider, Lenny Clarke, Connor Brickley, Jack Eichel, Ken Casey, Steve DeOssie, Sarah Davis and others will be in attendance.

WHAT:           Former Bruins great and current Florida Panthers Forward, Shawn Thornton, steps off the ice and into the tee box to raise money for a great cause. He will be joined by a few PGA Players, former Boston Bruins teammates and current Florida Panthers teammates to participate in the annual golf tournament.

All proceeds from the event benefit the Shawn Thornton Foundation, in an effort to help cure Parkinson’s Disease.

WHEN:           Monday, August 8th, 2016

Golfing 12PM-6PM

WHERE:         Ferncroft Country Club


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