today, looking back, i am finding these once disappointing images a lot more compelling. hopefully a source of inspiration, let me explain.

it’s been a long winter. photographically i have felt in a bit of a rut. these last couple days i have been running some ancient negatives through the scanner when i came upon a roll from a college concept that may have hinted at some of the inner wellspring of the current ongoing “benshotme” project. it was 1991(ish) and i had an idea that it turns out, i didn’t have the time, photographic maturity or really the chops to pull off. i am not sure what i was even thinking in many ways. ultimately i remember i felt very disappointed in the “series” i wanted to create and the images it produced.

the concept was to shoot myself shooting with my newly acquired 4×5 camera. and then present the 4×5 image in conjunction with the shot of shooting the shot. perhaps the original benshotme.

i don’t think i could express what i was looking for then, or now, was it the investigation of the sliver of silver time that is the photographic record. is it the medium as the witness to time, or the projection of us as a reflection of me. are we in mediums to project a vision of us or is it all just me… i am still not sure. somehow i still think the answer might be in you, in the image, or in the camera or in me?

photos and text by ben allsup

model Kristen Lahteine-Stepalavich #KristenLahteine-Stepalavich

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